Corrupt Aruban Government Sanctions Murder of US Citizen

In deference to Joran van der Sloot and his Aruban government official father Paulus, the government has officially sanctioned the murder of Natalee Holloway.

How we wish for the days of Teddy Roosevelt, when Marines would have made Aruba the newest U.S. Possession and Joran, Paulus, and their two Surinamese flunkies would have been hanged. We can only hope some some prosecutor in Alabama has the balls to call a grand jury to investigate the murder of this U.S. citizen and convict the murderers and the corrupt officials of the Aruban government who have allowed this to take place.

THE TRUTH IS OUT-OPRAH RUNNING HELL HALL IN SOUTH AFRICA

The truth about the woman that most women consider their goddess and personal savior is finally starting to come out. Oprah had to rush to her Oprah's Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa and cry before a co-conspiratorial press.

The dorm matron at the school has been arrested for abuse and indecent behavior towards students. For months there have been rumors of abuse at this experiment to brain wash girls on the dark continent. We have no doubt that the judges in South Africa can be bought, an investigation and grand jury should be called in America to investigate Oprah's role in this scandal.

Obama Renounces U.S. Citizenship

Communist Barak Obama declared this week that he refuses to wear a United States Flag pin. Obama stated, "I decided I won't wear that pin on my chest."

Thank you Mr. Muslim for insulting everyone who has ever served in our Armed Forces for the past two hundred plus years and their families. Thank you for insulting the sacrifices made by Union troops to end slavery. Thank you for insulting the brave men and women who fought the Kaiser, Nazism, Fascism, Communism, and Islamic Terrorism. At least there is no question about where you stand.

OJ UPDATE

OJ is wearing an orange jupsuit. Or shall we just call it an OJ.

Eleven charges filed, a possiblity of life without parole.

We look forward to that special day, not the day OJ is found guilty, not the day OJ is sentenced, but the day OJ realizes in terror that some thug in prison that is tougher than him is in love.

El Assclowno de la Dia Tinhorn Vincente Fox

George Bush's biggest mistake is is immigration policy. For seven years Bush went out of his way to appease Mexican Tinhorn President Vincente "El Greaser" Fox. He was the crook Fox's best friend in the United States. The Tinhorn has rewarded Bush by stabbing him in the back. He has written a book where he makes fun of how Bush talks, calls Bush stupid, and declares his support for the terrorists in Iraq. All we have to show for Bush's friendship to him is several million illegal aliens sucking us dry by keeping wages low, illegally sending money out of America, and adding billions to the cost of our social services, schools, and hosptials.

I hope the next president has the pair to kick the current tinhorn of Mexico in the ass.

JUSTICE

This entry is dedicated to all of you who were so happy that he got off the hook for murder. Baby Jesus doesn't sleep.

LIAR, LIAR

Several months ago, Cindy Sheehan announced that she was tired of being a media whore and was retiring from the protest industry. Now she has announced that she is going to lead anti-troop demonstrations to show her hate for George Bush and her contempt for the brave men and women serving America.

Cindy, we really feel for you. Get some psychological help and stop carrying water for Reid, Pelosi, Soros, Clinton, and Osama/Obama.

Goddess Declares-Hillary Loses Millions of Women's Votes

Hillary lost millions of women's votes in one shot, as the woman that most women worship as their godess ordered her followers to vote for Obama. This is the first time the megalomaniacal Ms. Winfrey has ordered her mind-numbed followers how to vote, in the past she has ordered them on what to read, what music to listen to, what to eat, what to wear, and other day-to-day behavior.

Obama has denied that he has cozied up with Ms. Winfrey only so she will buy him an SUV, a tactic she has used in the past to make people like her. It is rumored that another one of Ms. Winfrey's whores, Dr. Phil, is extremely jealous of Obama's relationship with his pimp and calls him "That big eared bitch" behind his back.

Assclown in Your Pocket Update

Scocialist shake-down artist Bono shows up at Luciano Pavarotti's funeral, no doubt to make sure that he left something in his will for third world despots.

Scooby Hsu, Where Are You?

Hillary fundraiser Norman Hsu failed to show up in court today and forfeited a $2 million bond. Odds are he is on his way to Beijing with the Chicoms. I guess he had a choice, forfeit the $2 million and go back to China, or show up then get a free one-way trip to Fort Marcy Park.

Enough of the Ho

I don't know the last Roman emperor to be diefied, but it probably hasn't happened for about 1800 years. And then in 1997 we not only diefied someone, the Pontifex Maximus was a drag queen.

I have heard more than enough in the past week about Dianna, Slut of Wales. She was sleeping arround with people who want to blow me up. She hated our military. One of her worshippers commented during the deification that Mother Theresa "had the nerve to die" the same week. That is enough for me. She was no saint, openly a sinner, and against every American value we hold dear.

Crybaby Update

The British newspaper Daily Express reports that whining moma's boy Beckham is going to leave America and return home to England. Seems that even people walking down the street scared him and he was having bad dreams at night about American football players. If only he could take all of the other girly-man pro soccer players back with him, that would be an accomplishement.

USC 2007 BCS National Champions

After their 38-10 victory over Idaho, who were 4-8 last year, the University of Southern Calfornia declared that they were BCS National Champions for the 2007 season. According to USC, this is the 85th season in a row that they are National Champions.

Whine it Like Beckham-Assclown of the Day

Soccer is the only game in the world where the fans are tougher than the players. In America, soccer was set to take over all sports and entertainment as David Beckam has arrived. He was greater than Christ's second coming plus he was doing a Spice Girl. Instead of a massive wave of soccer taking over America, we have been treated to a spectacle of complaining and whining. This weekend hundreds of thousands of Americans suit up in high school, college, and pro FOOTBALL. These young men will tough it out for the rest of the season, living and playing with pain that would put Beckam into a coma. So suck it up you whining English mama's boy. Go home but you can leave your wife.

One important note, SOCCER IS NOT FOOTBALL. Football is a game of skill, strength and fortitude played on a 120 yard field by 22 men. Soccer is something the girls play at PE. People who call soccer football are also usually socialists (see previous articles on Bono) and want to take money you earned away from you.

Chuckie's in Love?

Whenever any Republican anywhere does anything, nobody is quicker to run to a camera and spew venom and hate quicker than Sen. Charles Schumer, D-NY. People who have gotten between Chuckie and a TV camera have ended up in the hosptial. However not a word has been spoken by Shumer about the arrest, conviction, and resignation of Sen Larry Craig. We will be watching and digging deeper.

Why is this man smiling?

Why is Tom Brokaw smiling? Because Meriwether County Sheriff's Deputy Richard Jewell is dead. Brokaw cost NBC $500,000 plus whatever their shysters charged them, when they settled with Jewell in a libel case. Brokaw without fact or cause blamed then security guard Jewell for the bombing at the 1996 Altanta Olympics. It was later proven a seriel bomber had planted the bomb, but in a move that would make Dan Rather proud, Brokaw refuses to believe it. After all Jewell was a dumb redneck from the south, not a rich urbane well dressed New Yorker like he.

Richard has his wings. For all the years of lying about him and thousands of other stories, you have a much warmer reception waiting for you Tom.

Assclown of the Day-American Al Qaida

American Al Qaida terrorist Adam Gadahan, best known for playing Al Borland on Tool Time, has called for peace loving muslims around the world to blow up American embassies. Gadahan, who has been indicted in the U.S. for treason, has a $1,000,000 reward on his head by the FBI and and additional $100 reward from Pizza Hut if their table cloth is returned.

Remember, it is all about Peace and Love. And blowing up infidels.

Assclown Update

Socialist weather babe Heidi Cullen was interviewed in the NY Times this week about the statement she made that journalists who didn't believe in the global warming hoax should be fired. She denied saying this, she says that what she said was that they should be denied certification and unable to be hired. What is the difference?

Looking at this picture of Ms. Cullen, no, I wouldn't.

Assclowns of the Day-Is that you Dad?

In Venezuela, insane socialist America-hating dictator Hugo Chavez praised insane socialist America-hating actor Sean Penn. The man who is Jeff Spicoli was in Venezuela to bash America and meet the crazy tin horn. Chavez called Penn by phone to praise him, but considering Chavez' bad English and Penn's worse English, it is doubtful that either one understood the other. Tomorrow they meet in person, no doubt to do DNA swabs.

The Last Great Mystery

Why the hell would the second horniest man in America (Barry White was first horniest) want anything to do with this? I can't figure it out.